Dog Doo, Office Politics, and Managing Your Time
by Jennifer Sellers, PCC, MCLC
November, 2007

Dog doo. There it is. On the floor. In the living room. On the carpet. Not on the silk rug, thank you, Dog, but on the carpet nearby. What's my first reaction? I don't like this. This shouldn't be happening. I don't have time for this. What's wrong with this dog? Or more kindly, Is there something wrong with the dog? Maybe my body tenses up a bit. It's a little clenching of the jaw. Or of the shoulders, or in my belly.

Office Politics. There they are. On the workplace floor. Where there are people there are politics. What is my reaction to this situation? Someone disagrees with me. Someone agrees with me. Someone wants me to do it differently. I want someone to do it differently. Do I think this shouldn't be happening? Do I feel my jaw, my shoulders, my belly clench?

Managing Time. Look at all this dog doo in my schedule! What do I do? Where do I start? I'm multi-tasking a mile a minute and getting nowhere. If only I were more efficient. If only my situation didn't require so much of me. This job is stressful. It shouldn't be this way. If I stop to notice, I find that something is clenched.

And at the moment I stop to notice, I have a choice. I might now be able to say, "Hmmm...dog doo - or office politics, or time crunch. Better clean it up before someone steps in it. Better clean it up before I step in it myself." No more thoughts that this shouldn't be happening. What's the inspired action that would clean it up? If it's not clear, can I wait until there is one?

The October, 2007 Harvard Business Review contains an article by Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy entitled "Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time." Schwartz and McCarthy lay out a concrete, comprehensive, and helpful program for managing energy rather than time, addressing energy in its physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual forms. The article is worth reading and the practices worth incorporating, to whatever degree each of us is capable.

And on the way to putting the practices into place, I have one, single, simple, powerful suggestion for right now: Try not keeping anything out. Try letting it all in. See what happens if you let in the dog doo. It's there anyway. If you let in the office politics; they're there anyway. If you accept, surrender, and quit fighting your schedule, your calendar, your congestion of the agenda. And if you find yourself saying "This shouldn't be happening!" you simply notice that you're thinking it shouldn't be happening, and you just interrupt for the moment the thought that you shouldn't be thinking that this shouldn't be happening.

When we block out anything, we are blocking out pieces of ourselves. And when we block out pieces of ourselves we are blocking out our joy. Blocking out is blocking out.

Joan Sutherland, Roshi, founder of The Open Source, a NewZen network, says that equanimity is keeping pace with your own life.

Have you noticed that sometimes things flow and you get more done than you expected? You aren't so much bothered by the dog doo or the office politics or how busy you are, and your world looks easy.

Observe yourself. I bet you'll notice that these are times when you aren't blocking anything out. You aren't expecting one thing and rejecting whatever is not that. You are keeping pace with your life. It may be a fast pace or a slow pace, but you're okay with it, maybe even loving it.

Do I let everything in 100% of the time? No. Do I do this practice perfectly? Yes, in the sense that I practice when I remember to practice. And practice is perfect.

When you're ready, you will know what action to take. When you're ready, your action will be inspired action. If you aren't inspired - which means you aren't ready - rest. Or meditate. Or have a brief chat about what is working with someone supportive. Or just breathe. Find a moment of "bonsai spaciousness." Manage your energy - not the dog doo, the office politics, or your time.

~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~ . . . ~
(Thanks to Tenney Nathanson, poet and professor of poetry at the University of Arizona, for the term bonsai spaciousness.)

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Living the Labyrinth
by Kate Harper, PCC, CLC
January, 2008

I recently spent several days of silent retreat in the desert outside Tucson, Arizona. Outdoors in this beautiful setting is a copy of the famous Labyrinth at the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Chartres, France. Walking the labyrinth as a meditation can bring insight, and I decided to try it.

"It is a maze of twisty little passages!" my husband Joe likes to say when something seems complicated. His comment sprang to mind as I studied the labyrinth. It is beautiful, elegant and looks like a maze of twisty little passages. Unsure what to expect, I formed my meditative question - "What is next for me?" - and stepped in. I began walking, one step at a time. At first I was going directly towards the center, and then I turned and turned again. It was hard to tell how far I had come or how far I had to go. Yet, I kept going. Slowly I began to realize that a labyrinth isn't a maze at all. You can not get lost and there are no dead ends; there is only one path to the center, and it is the same way back to the beginning.

As I walked it occurred to me - what if life is really more like a labyrinth than a maze? It appears to be made of twisty little passages but perhaps it is more of a path. If I follow the direction and put one foot in front of the other, I will be led to where I want to go, even if it might appear as if I am headed in the opposite direction or not getting there fast enough!

I often ask clients to focus on the next step and listen inside for directional guidance. Speaker Esther Hicks describes how her granddaughter hides a little car and then helps Esther to find it, by saying "warmer, warmer," or "colder, colder." Esther always finds the car! I know I am always being called forward. I can feel for the warmer or colder. I stop for a moment and ask myself, What feels better? What gives me energy? What brings more joy?

Did I get the answer to my question of what is next for me? Not in the way I had imagined, but I did get the answer: Keep putting one foot in front of the other, listen inside for direction, and enjoy the beauty and elegance of the path.

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Emotion in Motion
by Sheri Boone, MCC, CLC
December, 2007

Lately, I've been paying attention to my emotions in a new way. I believe we each have an emotional set-point, a level or a place where we're most comfortable. Whether this comes from our nature or our environment is a larger discussion for another article. I believe it's a combination of both coming together in a way that informs how we each feel and experience our world.

A new term I've been using for a few months now is "emotionally satisfying." This concept hit me after a not-so-emotionally satisfying experience. Something I thought would be a personally fulfilling experience turned out to not be so. As I reflected on what I "could have done better," how I "could have made it grander," I realized at its core, regardless of the circumstances surrounding it, the situation - for me - was not emotionally satisfying. What great news! Now I could really take a look at what was going on and discover the gems here. And the really good news...I can make a new choice next time a similar situation or opportunity is presented to me.

Then, I attended the International Coach Federation's annual conference in Long Beach, California and listened to two of the keynote speakers talk about emotions, how they are at the root of all we do, and how they drive our motivations.

Julio Olalla, founder and president of the coach training organization The Newfield Network, spoke of our emotions being huge territory; to think clearly, we need to be very clear about our emotions. They are, in fact, that which pushes us into action! And he shared this idea: that human evolution comes not from new ideas, but from a new emotional realm. Our emotions are our core.

Dr. Kjell Nordstrom, author of Funky Business Forever, said that successful businesses in this part of the century will be "female, personal, simple, and emotional." He said we are emotionally wired.

At Inspired Mastery we always say, "Take only the inspired action." What we mean is this: follow your own energy. If something feels (key word here) like struggle or hard work, reconsider at the least and at best, drop it, don't do it, or change it in some way to bring the inspiration - the good feeling - back in.

I want to pay attention to my emotions because they provide a wealth of information for me. They are my informers of what's important to me and why I'm doing anything. The emotions that drive me are joy, love, hope, contentment, happiness, friendship, comfort, acceptance, zest, gratitude, glee, anticipation, awe, and peace. When I'm feeling the opposite of these, my work is to take note, be aware, and then to find my path back to my own satisfying emotional set-point.

What a delight and a gift to be having this incredible adventure called life. In this season of connection with family and friends, and all of the rich emotion that comes forth - joy, love, hope, and so many more - I'll be taking many moments to reflect on the deeper meanings of all of the feelings and emotions in my life. I invite you to do the same.

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Making Peace with Not Knowing
by Jennifer Sellers, PCC, MCLC
November, 2007

I'm good at knowing. My husband says I'm always right, whether I am or not. That's because I'm so certain of what I know - or believe I know.

My former Zen teacher, the wonderful and quirky John Tarrant, Roshi, had spoken with me for about 20 minutes when he gave me my first koan: "Not knowing is most intimate." He saw straight through my masterful ability to know and gave me a gift that would help move me beyond it.

A koan is a saying or story that the Zen student sits with. The instruction is to keep company with the koan and let it seep into all parts of you; let it penetrate deeply, well beyond the brain. So in the opening keynote of the International Coach Federation conference, when I heard Julio Olalla (pronounced "Oh LAH Ya" as he is South American) say, "If you want to learn, be willing not to know," I felt my heart beat faster. Julio, a giant in the coaching world and in the world in general, spoke about the connection between not-knowing and dreaming. When you first dream of something you want to be, have, or do, you become aware almost instantly that you are not competent to realize your dream . . . yet. If you were, it would not be a dream. In order to move toward it, you have to be comfortable with not knowing everything about how to get to your dream. You have to become comfortable with being incompetent. Julio said, "You have to be at peace with not knowing."

In his workshop session "Coaching Relational Intelligence: Improving Business Performance by Improving Relationships," Mamoru Itoh, MCC, the founder of the first and largest coach training organization in Japan, Coach 21 Co. Ltd., spoke of the feeling of stability that comes with knowing and the feeling of instability that comes with not knowing. His point was that the place of instability actually promotes movement more than the place of stability.

True leaders - in business and in personal life - are able to navigate the ambiguity of not knowing, the instability of uncertainty, the discomfort in the gap that opens up before clarity arises. They experience and exhibit intra-personal intelligence - inner consciousness and its attendant self care and self responsibility - as well as inter-personal intelligence - skill at communicating that draws people in concert toward their common dreams and goals.

What I love about not knowing is that when I remember to go there, I relax. I am open to possibility. I don't have to push myself to a conclusion. When I get comfortable with not-knowing, I'm able to allow creative solutions to arise. I'm able to allow the answers to come from within as well as from others around me. And I find myself and any group I'm in moving toward our dreams. When I make peace with not-knowing, I become aware that the stream of well-being is carrying me, and all of us, right to where we want to be.

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Resistance is Futile
by Sheri Boone, MCC, CLC
with Jennifer Sellers, PCC, MCLC
October, 2007

Have you been in struggle recently, wrestling with how to get something done or move ahead on a project? When we're pushing against something or trying so hard to achieve, we're actually stopping the flow of getting to where we want to go by putting a logjam in the river. In effect, we end up resisting our own flow. How many times have you been given the message that dogged determination is the only way to get what you want? What if that isn't really true? We think the Path of Least Resistance has gotten a bad rap.

I worked with a psychologist who was writing a book and came up against her own logjam. She told me she was not sure how to put into words what she wanted to say. In short, she was confused, distracted and self-critical. All of these indicated resistance to what she really wanted - to write a really great book.

When she became aware that her distraction, self-criticism, and confusion were, in fact, resistance, she had a light bulb moment. As I questioned more deeply, suddenly she said, "Oh, I got it. It's acceptance. This doesn't have to be any different. If I accept where I am right now, the weight is lifted and it all becomes easy!" At that moment she let go of the struggle. The logjam released and the waters flowed again.

Please don't get scared here. We know there's something counter-intuitive about acceptance. This isn't lying down and settling for less than you desire. This is about getting out of your own way by appreciating where you are. Oddly, in order to move ahead, you must first find a way to be okay with what is, right now. This is why the Path of Least Resistance has gotten a bad rap. The fear is that you'll become complacent and not take action, but in the presence of acceptance, the waters flow.

When you find yourself struggling, apply acceptance. When things seem hard, try appreciation. When it's just not working out, stop and find a way to relax. Forget about dogged determination. It's too hard and it doesn't give you the greatest return on your investment. Wouldn't you rather let go, relax, and enjoy the ride on the amazing river you've got flowing?

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The Limitless Leader
by Jennifer Sellers, PCC, MCLC
and Sheri Boone, MCC, CLC
September, 2007

Two caterpillars are walking along when a butterfly flits overhead. Says one caterpillar to the other, "You'd never get me up in one of those!"

So often, we humans also fail to recognize that we are the butterfly. We think we're the habitual, circumstantial person who has a driver's license and knows his or her name and place in the order of things. And, yes, we are that person . . . and so much more. We're the timeless, limitless, expansive self that doesn't depend on circumstances for happiness. Our true nature is larger than the physical person we know ourselves to be. And as leaders, there's much more personal power in being able to connect to the Limitless Self, in identifying with the Limitless Self rather than the self of habit or circumstance.

But how do we make that connection? How do we identify with the larger self? It's likely that you have taken many of your own forays to the Limitless Self. Here and now, we'd like to share our Four A's.

Awareness. In our experience, the first step is always awareness. When we're aware of our thoughts, we are no longer attached to them; we're not as strongly identified with them. When we see our thoughts from even a little bit of a distance, the one who's seeing is the Limitless Self. To experience this, take 30 seconds now and watch your thoughts as they arise. Notice how little you think them and how much they just seem to appear. And pay attention, for a scant 30 seconds, to what they are. Then become aware of the one who is doing the noticing.

Awareness is alert attention, consciousness, focus on one thing at a time, presence, being in the moment that is now.

Acceptance. Frequently, with sustained or deep awareness, a natural acceptance arises. In the experience of profound awareness, we accept that what is in front of us is what is in front of us. We don't necessarily condone it. We may not even like it. But we are willing to accept that it is. We're willing to be with it and there's no urge to push against it.

Acceptance is a willingness to be with what is.

Alignment. Beyond acceptance is alignment, or finding joy in the moment. You know the feeling of being in the zone, being fully engaged, enjoying exactly what you're doing right this minute. You're present and happy right here right now with this activity, any other people involved, and yourself. You're in alignment with yourself, with your Limitless Self. You're in alignment with whatever is presenting itself to you. And you're in alignment with the present moment.

Alignment is joy in the moment.

Adventure. When you are enjoying whatever you're doing in this moment and you're working toward a goal, that's what we call adventure. There's a creative tension between the joy in the moment and the joy of moving forward with purpose. Both exist together - joy in the moment and focus on the goal. We've noticed for ourselves, that if more than 50% of our attention moves to the goal only, the adventure lessens. Joy in the moment begins to drain away. We don't feel so great. When at least half of our attention is on the joy in the moment, we're happy and productive at the same time.

Adventure is joy with a purpose.

In our experience, if our clients aren't in one of these modes, they are generally suffering. And we notice that when they are in one of these modes, they are highly effective as leaders. We see action taken out of Awareness, Acceptance, Alignment, or Adventure, as more effective than action taken to try to make something happen or even get something to happen.

Whatever your forays into your Limitless Self look like, we invite you to take them in order to be the authentic Limitless Leader that you are.

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Mastery Begins at Home
by Jennifer Sellers, PCC, MCLC
August, 2007

The key to communicating with difficult people lies not in the circumstances, but in you. The key to overcoming overwhelm lies not in the circumstances, but in you. The key to getting happy at work lies not in the circumstances, but in you.

Mastery begins at home, in your own heart and mind, when you question your stressful thoughts. And resolving any difficult situation means taking responsibility for yourself. It means taking care of yourself. It means being kind to yourself. Anything tough that you face is an opportunity to examine your reactions, your decisions, and the perspectives you choose. Self-examination followed by self-responsibility, self-care, and self-love. Tthese are the ways in which personal mastery shows up.

Ron, an individual coaching client earlier this year, had taken a hiatus from corporate life, prompted by the thought that he couldn't be himself in the corporate world. Shortly after starting coaching, he decided to return to his former employer. He began making plans for returning to the corporate world in integrity and from a position of authenticity. The option of returning was possible because when he had left a few months earlier, he had acted amicably and responsibly.

He took care of himself by getting clear on what he wanted and making a commitment to himself to only consider positions that truly appealed to him - that fit his talents and his interests, that challenged him at just the right level, and that matched his desires to spend ample time with his wife and two young daughters. He took responsibility for himself by acting with equal measures of honesty and tact as he explored possible positions in the company to which he was returning.

The surprises for Ron came when he began to state what he wanted. He found that people were willing to agree to his requests. The whole situation was less stifling than he expected. Work that lay much closer to his interests and strengths opened up to him. And he began to see that the idea that he couldn't be himself at this company was simply not true. His perspective shifted drastically.

Mastery begins with questioning your stressful thoughts. The stressful thought is usually some version of "This shouldn't be happening" or "This isn't right." When you inquire into the thoughts - there's not enough time here, there's not enough autonomy here, there's not enough "me" here - you begin to see that what seemed to be concrete walls are little more than smoky perceptions.

Then you take care of yourself in the basic ways - enough rest, enough play, enough company, enough solitude. When you take care of yourself, you feel good. When you feel good, you are more resourceful. Your difficult situations begin to sort themselves out.

Ron went back to the corporate world in a new job with renewed focus and energy. He may still decide that it's not for him, but he's planning to give it a shot from his place of integrity and authenticity. If it later turns out not to be a fit, he'll tune in to what is most important and make decisions from there. And should that point come, I hope I'll have the honor of again accompanying him on his path, of coaching him see inside his thinking and to come to his own answers.

Mastery is seeing your stressful thoughts and questioning them. Inquiry into your own thinking usually leads you to taking responsibility for yourself, taking care of yourself, and being kind to yourself and others. It begins close to the bone - in your own mind, in your own heart of hearts, in your own home of homes. And it begins whenever you are ready. It begins now.

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Living the Metaphor (Lessons from the Canyon, Part III)
Jennifer Sellers, PCC, MCLC
July, 2007

Last year, I looked at my life and found myself repeatedly falling short of my goals. I would throw an aspiration way out there, like shooting an arrow across the Grand Canyon. Then I would get a good running start and try to take a flying leap across to join it. Many times I found myself crashed at the bottom, all broken up. I had to be placed in emotional traction in order to come back from these leaps, whether they were business or personal goals.

Finally it dawned on me that I could take one step at a time, walk down to the bottom, cross over the Colorado on a nice, sturdy bridge, and walk up the other side. This would be more enjoyable, there would be time to be intimate with the landscape, and it would actually be more efficient, since the hike takes only a few days, while healing from the leap is a long-term affair.

The metaphor was a good part of what inspired me to put together our 5-day rim-to-rim Canyon trip in the first place. The first couple of weeks after we returned, almost every night I dreamed I was hiking the canyon. And still, I feel the metaphor seeping even deeper into my psyche and into the choices I make.

I’m not attempting to leap from way over here to way over there right this minute. I’m not on a forced march from one side to the other, either. I’m stopping and camping two nights here and a night there, taking in the side trips to Ribbon Falls and Plateau Point, watching a snake chase a lizard, hearing the high gobble-gobble of a wild turkey in the dusk. I’m feeling myself grow stronger with the exercise; I’m enjoying the support of my trekking poles, my boots, my loved ones. And I’m reveling in knowing I have the power within to get me anywhere I want to go.

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Choosing the Gift (Lessons from the Canyon, Part I)
Sheri Boone, MCC, CLC
June, 2007

The bottom of the Grand Canyon . . . 14 miles if you descend the North Rim and about 10 if you go down the South Rim. Either way, it's a journey to a rarefied place. You can't get there by car, plane, train, or bike - only by foot or burro, so only a relatively few people will ever see this incredible natural wonder. I felt excited and privileged to be one of these. We made it down intact!

The weather was forecast to be hot, even 100 degrees. But, it was overcast and about 85 the day we completed our trek to the bottom. Thinking this a lucky relief, we retired to our tents early planning to arise at dawn for more early morning hiking. After a few short hours of sleep, I awoke to rumbling, clapping, and booming thunder and lightning, not to mention pouring rain!

As I lay in my sleeping bag, certainly surprised, yet wishing to enjoy the full experience of this unexpected storm, I realized that even with our best-laid plans, nature has a mind of her own. I also felt incredibly vulnerable and a bit small in the grander scheme. Here I was at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, totally at the whim of a force outside of my control. Many thoughts came during the next few hours as the powerful storm continued: "What if it lasts all day?" "Okay, now my tent is soaked; what shall I do?" and my favorite, "Will the park ranger come by and rescue us?"

At dawn, the thunder stopped and the rain lessened. We got up, did some drying out, and began our hike away from the bottom to our next stop, hot and dry. As we hiked I reflected on this event and realized that I was actually very happy to have the full experience of the magnificent Grand Canyon. Lying there in my bag and feeling the raw power of the earth was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I was connected to nature through all of my senses and it was an incredibly vast experience for me. I'll never forget it.

I also knew I was climbing out with a valuable lesson. It is this: things can change quickly and without warning, and if they do, how shall I choose to be with the change? I have a choice to go with the flow and enjoy the new experience, even as I feel the disappointment or frustration of my original vision or plans slipping away. Yes, isn't this the way of life and work? We may think we have it all planned, organized, and coordinated . . . and then, a raging storm stops us in our tracks. How will we handle it? How will we manage the change? I know for me, there is always a gift to be found in the new circumstance and adventure. My most pressing and engaging work, every day, is to find it. Thank you, Grand Canyon, for reminding me, once again, of the amazing fluidity of life and of all the gifts it brings.

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Choosing the Focus (Gifts from the Canyon, Part II)
Kate Harper, PCC, CLC
June, 2007

Several people have asked me the highlight of hiking the Grand Canyon rim to rim; there were so many. I loved the spectacular beauty; every step brought a new amazing vista. I loved the physical challenge - yes, I am in better shape than I thought! I deeply enjoyed quiet moments with my husband and partners, deepening the relationships that make my life so rich.

And, one of my high points came when I was annoyed. Yes! Totally and completely annoyed. The third day dawned with rain. Deciding we'd do better to get hiking and dry out at the next camp, I got up early and got ready to go. However, the rest of the crew decided to take it more leisurely. Ready to roll, I started getting annoyed. Then I noticed that I was not only annoyed with them but even more annoyed with myself for being annoyed! I was definitely digging my own Grand Canyon of annoyance. Then, I realized I was missing the spectacular scenery, the chirping of the birds and the soothing sound of the river. I could choose to focus on annoyance or I could say, "Okay, I'm annoyed," and then focus on the beauty right in front of me.

I took this insight home with me. Last week my daughter Lizzy graduated high school. The Tuesday before graduation I was fretting about whether my house was clean enough for my mother and if I should buy both whole grain and white bread (Polly likes whole grain, Carol white), when I remembered the moment in the Grand Canyon. Instead of fretting, could I focus on the beauty right in front of me? The beauty of the big milestone for my daughter of whom I a m so proud, the loving family that flew all the way across the country to celebrate with me. Yes I could and I did. Thank you, Grand Canyon!

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Leading from the Sweet Spot
Jennifer Sellers, PCC, MCLC
May, 2007

Mindfulness. Awareness. Consciousness. Presence. These can be meaningless buzzwords or reminders of the intimate relationship we can have with life. What do they have to do with our work and our leadership?

In the business classic Good to Great (New York: Collins - HarperCollins, 2001), Jim Collins uses the image of a flywheel to describe organizations moving from buildup to breakthrough and beyond. In their research, Collins and his team discovered that in companies that went from good to great, "There was no single defining action, no grand program, no one killer innovation, no solitary lucky break, no wrenching revolution. Good to great comes about by a cumulative process - step by step, action by action, decision by decision, turn by turn of the flywheel - that adds up to sustained and spectacular results." (pp. 164-165)

Every day we're turning the flywheel of our businesses and of our lives. And presence - being awake and fully alive in the moment - is what dramatically leverages the effort exerted in each push of the flywheel.

Have you noticed that as you set yourself to a task when you're tired or distracted by something you're unhappy about it takes longer to get it done and it's a lot harder? You feel the full weight of that enormous flywheel. But when you're rested and focused on the same task, even if it's not your favorite thing to do, moving the flywheel is a joy . . . or at least not an unbearable chore. And the only difference is being present - to yourself, to the task, to what the results of it will mean, to the people who'll benefit, to the success of your organization, to the people on your team, perhaps to all of these.

I sometimes recognize how much I resist the present moment - how many times I want the answer to be different, the person I'm speaking with to see it my way, something or someone to require less maintenance. I want more time, more money flowing through; I want to make more of a contribution. Those desires are meaningful, and they inspire me toward my goals. At the same time, when I'm able to be in full acceptance of the person, the answer, the level of maintenance, the time, the money, my current contribution . . . when I'm relaxing into this moment and not fighting one thing about it, I am so much more resourceful. I know what to do next to be truly effective. I have lots of energy. And I enjoy myself!

Resistance is futile, and it's not what we came here for. We came to get our hands in the dirt. We came to soar. We came to turn the flywheel and have fun doing it. We came for the joy. And as a leader, you came to be a model. Even "sustained and spectacular results" are not worth much if we're not fully alive to them.

What are you creating as you read this? Curiosity or boredom? An open mind or a judging one? Are you settling in to this moment, or are you rushing toward the next one? And how do these types of choices affect you as a leader?

Soften your jaw, your belly, your shoulders. Soften your perspective, your attitude, your opinion. Find that sweet spot. Open to it now. And again now. And Now. And lead on.

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As managers, consultants, and coaches we distinguish what feeds the good and what fuels the angry wolf. We guide employees or clients to achieve greater success, which they may define as happiness, health, productivity, or profitability. Through our interactions, modeling, and guidance we have the opportunity and responsibility to co-create a rich nurturing environment that supports balance, growth, and excellence. Acknowledgment can be one of our most powerful tools.

When reasoning is anchored in primary values, inherent qualities, personal strengths, and natural abilities, the individual becomes authentically empowered and motivated. Acknowledgment sets the anchor. It feels good, so it encourages repetition, thereby becoming a powerful catalyst for creating positive change.
 
The key requirement for acknowledgment is knowing what is important to the other person, specifically their core values and primary motivations. These aspects are the basis of a person's fundamental nature. More profound than a compliment, an acknowledgment brings the experience of being seen and appreciated at a soul level. It provides approval and recognition and empowers people to be all they can be.
 
The key aspects of acknowledgment are recognition, acceptance, and appreciation of the expression of core values and primary motivations.

One of the functions, desires, and responsibilities of managers, consultants, and coaches is to be a catalyst for positive change. Practicing and living the art of acknowledgment with yourself and with others provides the method and process to achieve this. Begin today to practice the art of acknowledgment. Before the day ends acknowledge at least two people. And make sure that one of them is you!

[A version of this article ran in the October, 2000 issue of Consulting Today with the title Mastering the Art and Skill of Acknowledgment.]

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